Overview of the Past Month

 

Easter marked the end of Lent and the end of my Facebook fast. I didn't understand what the fast had meant to me until Easter Sunday, when I realized I didn't want Facebook back in my life. I had discovered what it was to live free of status updates and my newsfeed, and I loathed the thought of it taking up residence in my mind again. I no longer feared or dreaded the thought of giving it up; I was eager to give it up. And suddenly, I knew--really knew in my heart--what the cross means to us who are only too eager to throw off our flesh and live by the Spirit. The crucifixion is not something to drag our feet to reluctantly, regretting the death of our flesh (our old man). It is a gift to be embraced with gladness, for we realize that in it, we find ourselves finally free from the fetters of our flesh, free to live the Christ life. This was my realization on Easter Sunday, that my self crucified with Christ is not a death to be resisted but embraced, just as I no longer dreaded but desired to live free from Facebook. And then, get this, Monday morning's devotion from The Green Letters was on this very subject:

The believer's Cross is the Cross of Calvary, the Cross on which he was crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20). There the eternal emancipation proclamation was signed with the blood of the Lamb, and sealed by the Spirit of God. Every believer is thereby freed from all bondage, but every believer is not aware of the liberating truth. Sad to say, the only believers who are interested in freedom are those who have come to the place of hating instead of hugging their chains. . .We will be ready to take up our Cross when self becomes intolerable to us, when we begin to hate our life--"and hate not...his own life...cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). The deep burden of self and hunger to be like Him cause the function of the Cross--crucifixion--to become attractive. The long devastating years of abject bondage make freedom in the Lord Jesus priceless--the cost becomes as nothing to us! . . . Yes we begin to glory in the Cross, our very own freedom from all that enslaves, from all that would keep us from fellowship with our risen Lord. So we begin to take up our Cross, our liberation, our personal finished work held in trust for us so long and patiently by the Holy Spirit. . . And here is how we take up and bear our Cross: finally prepared by our needs, aware that our bondage was broken in Christ on Calvary, we definitely begin to rely on that finished work--we appropriate. Our attitude becomes: I gladly and willingly take, by faith in the facts, my finished work of emancipation that was established at Calvary; I consider myself to be dead to sin, and alive to God in Christ. This is taking up one's Cross. As we learn to do this, we begin to find these facts true in experience. The Holy Spirit brings that finished work of death and applies it to all of the old nature, which is thus held in the place of death--the death of Calvary. If and when we turn from the facts and begin to rely on anything or anyone else, including ourselves, self is released from the Cross--active and enslaving as ever. Through this process we are patiently taught to walk by faith, to maintain our attitude of reliance on the finished work of the Cross. (p.54-56)

While I learned a wonderful spiritual truth, I regret that contrary to my ideals, I've started using Facebook quite a lot again. As one of my friends duly noted: abstinence is a lot easier than self-control. I know the answer is in the Cross, in letting God strip away my fear of obscurity, my desire for human affirmation, my craving for cheap connections that cost me a few clicks here and there, and instead embracing the peace, restfulness, and clarity of living day by day, in one time zone, connecting with the people around me, doing things for the mere joy of it instead of anticipating a 'like' or comment when I post about it on Facebook. Not that it's impossible for you or me to use Facebook well--just that I personally find it challenging. But because of its advantages, I'll give myself a little longer before giving up completely.

 

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A couple days after Easter, I celebrated my 28th birthday. I've already been 29 in Korea for several months, so I'm easily confused about my age. When the lady at the bakery asked how many candles I wanted for my cake, I couldn't remember how old I was, so I just told her a random number and then counted up from '86 to see if I was right. I wasn't. :-P Anyway, my family, community, friends, and students blew me away with their sacrificial love to make the day special. I had my main birthday dinner a few days early at my Korean parents' house with 15 or so guests. My Korean mom cooked all day to prepare the most extravagant dinner I've ever laid eyes on. It was an unforgettable night. On my actual birthday, co-teachers Michael and Heather, made homemade pizza at the office--only the second time we've had homemade pizza here in 2 years! That was really special, and Karen made my mom's chocolate cake to go with it. Yum! My students also made me feel so loved--from the ones who brought fancy cakes, to the ones who'd obviously spent their own allowance money on donuts, McDonald's, and ice cream. And the homemade gifts from my dear community friends were the icing on the cake--a commonplace book filled with inspiring quotes in Kate's neat handwriting, a scrapbook made by Minji, and a poster by Karen that affirms who I am in Christ (and who I am in the flesh, too, since she mentioned my love of choco-pies... or is it Christ in me who loves them?). :-)

Me and my four little ahjummas

They know I love McDonald's!

Labors of love



Precious words of grace from a friend who knows my faults

The pictures from my birthday dinner won't upload here for some reason, but you can find them on Facebook. . .typical. ;-)

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Now that the weather is warm and it's staying lighter longer, I've enjoyed playing basketball with my students a few evenings after work. We also had a really fun group games day at the Han River. Working with elementary kids (and my one middle schooler, too) is just so much fun. There are stories to tell after nearly every class about something funny one of them did. The best story from last month was when one student asked to go to the bathroom at the beginning of class. He still hadn't come back after 10 minutes, so I went out and asked the grammar teacher if she'd seen him. She said that he'd gone to the bathroom to go #2, but that after he was done he realized there wasn't any toilet paper in the stall. He didn't know what to do, so he called his mom on his cell phone to ask her to call the Connexus front desk so the secretary could bring him some toilet paper. So resourceful! I'm sure in my old age, my face will be creased with laugh wrinkles, thanks to these kids. :)

Obstacle course

Please don't miss my two 4th-graders in the foreground, avoiding all physical contact as they make a bridge for the other boy to run under. Hilarious!

 

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Well, as good as my birthday was and as much as I enjoy my job, the best part of the past month was a peace & justice learning tour in Hiroshima, Japan. Seven of us from Connexus and the Korea Peacebuilding Institute flew over on Wednesday, spent one night at the World Friendship Center, three nights with host families, and came back Sunday afternoon. At the World Friendship Center, we heard an a-bomb survivor's story and plea for nuclear disarmament, and I was especially moved by the Peace Choir's song of condolence for the victims of the Sewolho ferry accident in Korea. On Thursday we toured Peace Park and Miyajima Island, and on Friday we visited the A-Bomb Museum and Hiroshima Flower Festival.

Seoh-san, an elderly gentleman who volunteers at the World Friendship Center, showed us around the musuem. At the time the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima, he was located behind a hill 3km from the hypocenter, which allowed him to survive without burns. However, his father, who had been in the city center, died 6 days later due to complications, his mother developed breast cancer, and his brother developed liver cancer, due to the radiation effects. He himself struggles with memory loss as a result of some brain problems (tumors, perhaps), which are suspected to be an after-effect of the bomb. When he finished guiding us around, I recounted his long list of losses from the atomic bomb and asked, "Don't you feel any resentment toward the U.S. for doing this?" He shook his head emphatically and seemed to brush my question right aside, as I lost control of my tears. "I just look to the future," he declared, and his warm smile and gracious spirit were sure evidence. I thought of the potential such a posture could have in my own life, as I choose to dwell on the past or look to the future, where it concerns offenses against me. If Seoh-san could live without bitterness, looking to the future, surely Christ in me can do the same.

L-R: Me, Kate, Seoh-san, Michael, Heather

Another highlight of the trip was getting to know my delightful host family. Chizuko-san, the wife, is 73, and her 84-year-old husband is the president of a university. They are very young at heart! Chizuko-san reminded me so much of my late grandmother, and so I was doubly blessed to spend time with her. She is so gracious and positive, laughs easily, is humble and warm, and at the same time elegant and refined. She encouraged Minji (my roommate) and I to come visit them again anytime, and to bring our friends. So let me know if you want to go to Hiroshima--I can't wait to go back!

 

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In the week since I came back from Japan, there have also been a lot of highlights. On Tuesday night, my Korean mom and dad came over for dinner. Our community pulled together a potluck to celebrate 어버이날, or Parents' Day. And I pulled my first all-nighter since college, making a scrapbook of our 5 years together. The result was more satisfying than any research paper I pulled all-nighters for in college. ;-) I am so thankful--and so, SO blessed--by their faithful love and support. Our whole community is nurtured by their generosity.

Now the weekend's here and I find myself busier than ever. I started Saturday Korean classes again this morning, after a month's vacation between semesters. And tonight I attended my first session of the International Mission School for North Korea (IMF4NK), an 8-session course sponsored by a church in Seoul. Every Saturday evening until the end of June, there will be special lectures related to North Korea and introducing ways to get involved.

This month I started attending a Bible study that my pastor leads at a school for North Korean refugees, and now that he is on vacation in the U.S. for 2 months, I'll be the one in charge of leading it. I feel very out of my league, but I keep reminding myself that God uses the weak to lead the strong, and His grace is sufficient for my weakness. It's really neat because I inquired about teaching English at this particular school two years ago, but they didn't need any more English teachers then. Instead, God led me to Connexus and my new church, green pastures where he renewed and restored me and led me to grow spiritually. And THEN he led me right back to that school and opened the door for me to be involved in a Bible study there, the very kind of spiritual work I would've wanted to do in the first place (more than just teaching English). God is the master strategist, or as Karen said yesterday, the master Tetris player. I'm excited to see how His plan keeps unfolding.

Now it's 3AM, time to hit the sack before our staff retreat tomorrow. Never a dull moment around here! Thanks for reading!