One book I've been getting a lot out of lately is Walking with God, by John Eldredge. I guess you could say I've become pretty skeptical or cynical of "Christian living" books and, maybe out of pride, I didn't expect to get much out of this one. But, oh, how I am learning and being led by the Holy Spirit through it. Eldredge gives a lot of practical tips and personal examples of how we can commune intimately with God in the day to day, and also warns of how the enemy tries to block us from hearing God. This led to some soul-searching and the discovery of some subtle "agreements" I've made with the enemy's lies, agreements that affect the way I approach life and may hinder my ability to hear God's voice. It seems like every other page I'm highlighting something powerfully relevant to my spiritual and practical life. And I'm sure it was the Holy Spirit nudging me through this book that led to my encounter with God today.
I would be lying by omission if I didn't at least mention the extraodinary way God ministered to me this afternoon. After a few years of being in bondage to the "fear of man" over an addiction I've wrestled with, having confessed to God many times but never to another person, God's been laying it on my heart that I need to confess to another person. Last Friday, my friend Dawn, a spirit-filled believer who walks with God in grace and truth, came over for dinner and spent the night. We stayed up till 1:30am, listening to a sermon and discussing it. I felt God pressing me to talk to her, but I just couldn't. My mind was still in conflict much of Saturday. Wasn't it enough to confess to God? Why did I need to tell a person, too? Would God really ask me to do that? Sunday morning on the way to church, as I was riding up the escalator in the subway station, I felt God telling me, Your deliverance will be in your confession. I felt a little distracted and phony in the church service, and after lunch Dawn and I decided to go to a coffeeshop together instead of attending the weekly sermon discussion. The plan was for me to read some books and Dawn to work on her computer, but as the Lord planned it, the coffeeshop was full, so we got our drinks to-go and sat in the park on the finest spring day you can imagine. We chatted for about an hour before Dawn popped the question: Has God been saying anything to you lately? The dreaded moment of opportunity was cracked wide open, and all I could do was wring my hands and say, "Oh, Dawn..." God had clearly orchestrated our unlikely conversation in the park, and this was the time. But where to start? How to say it? And then I told her. I told her how Satan had got a foothold in my life by haunting me with the fear of my sin being found out. I told her how I'd thought of a few friends I'd be willing to share with, but that what I wanted most was to talk to someone who would speak Grace and Truth over me. It was hard and awkward, but it was one of the best moments of my life. Dawn listened just as I hoped she would, registering no shock nor downplaying my sin with well-intentioned excuses designed to comfort me. No, even better. Just as I hoped, she told me who I am in Christ. She told me what Christ did for me. She told me how God sees me. She told me I am not my sin. I am not my flesh. I am not a failure, even when I fail. She told me that God chooses to forget my sin, and she chooses to forget it, too. (It's a lie from the enemy that we can at best forgive but not forget; through the Holy Spirit, we can forget, too!) She told me that God loves me, and she loves me too. And when she embraced me, it was the Body of Christ embracing me. She told me the gospel, indeed the good news (!) of grace. And as she spoke Truth over me, I wept. Right there in the park, with kids riding bikes and jumping rope and parents resting on park benches next to us, I wept until my eyelashes were caked in makeup. How simple it was, and how light my heart felt. I could almost see God smiling at me, patting me on the back and saying, There, that wasn't so bad, was it? We bowed our heads and Dawn prayed for me, and when we stood to go, she said her heart was lighter too, for God had used what she'd learned through her trials to minister to me in mine.
And I hope you'll be comforted, also, because the Word Dawn spoke to me is healing for your soul, too. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you agree by faith that His blood cleanses you from all sin. He is your righteousness. There is no striving. God came for the sinner. God came for you. God loves sinners. God loves you. And He offers you a new life hidden in Christ.
To sum up a few things I've learned through my encounter with God and His Grace today:
1) A godly friend is invaluable. When you need counsel, seek out a friend who will speak God's Word to you. No human words, no matter how well-intentioned, can compare. (Proverbs 12:26)
2) Don't give the devil a foothold, and don't let him isolate you from other believers. Fear is from the enemy; don't let him manipulate or cripple you with it. (Ephesians 4:26, 1 John 4:17-19)
3) When the Body of Christ is submitted to its Head, it ministers beautifully and powerfully the grace and love of Christ. Give God a chance to love you and lead you into deeper grace through the Body of Christ.
4) God will not force us to do anything; He gives us free will. But paradoxically, when we do what we think is best for us, resisting God's will, we only prolong our suffering. Better to submit to God's will early on.
No comments:
Post a Comment